Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼♀️
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
