Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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