I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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