Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
