I heard we made out
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
