So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
In other news, I just burned my penis
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
