Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
