I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
