Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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