I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
