Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
