This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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