Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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