I CAN MOONWALK!
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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