dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
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