I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
