I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
