I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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