omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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