He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Randomize
