And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Randomize
