My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
