I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
lets start a swedish sibling band together
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Couch. On fire.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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