I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
