billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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