um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
