I wish my penis had an off switch
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
My legs feel like baby dolphins
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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