so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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