Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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