So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
