She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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