I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
