Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Randomize
