two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
