i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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