I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
