i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
