how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
