Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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