He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
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