he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Randomize
