best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
