The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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