you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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