its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
