he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
