I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
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