I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
