Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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