so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
