you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Randomize
