At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
