i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
