We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
